How to apply love languages to online dating

Online dating can be confusing, but embracing and talking about love languages with your dates can provide useful insight to begin cultivating a successful relationship. But what are love languages, and how can they make online dating easier?

Here’s what you need to know about love languages

People have been talking about love languages since the early ‘90s when Gary Chapman wrote the bestselling book The Five Love Languages. In the book, Chapman explains that there are five main ways people prefer to give and receive love.

Briefly, the five love languages are:

  • Acts of Service – Performing tasks and favors for your partner
  • Physical touch – Being physically close
  • Quality time – Spending uninterrupted time together
  • Receiving gifts – Giving thoughtful, personal gifts
  • Words of affirmation – Speaking or writing words of praise and appreciation


You may relate to each of the languages to some degree, but there’s probably one that really resonates.

Relationship experts have even found that people who understand their partners’ love languages are more likely to have long, happy relationships.

You can also take a free online assessment to determine your dominant love language.

How to apply love languages to online dating

1.      Include your love language in your dating profile

There’s no doubt that your love language will affect your relationships, so feel free to include your love language on your online dating profile.

Sharing your love language early on gives people an idea of what you’re looking for in a relationship, and it could spark some interesting conversations as you get to know people on your online dating journey.

2.      Don’t be shy to ask about a person’s love language

Even the most romantic gestures can fall flat if they’re not compatible with your partner’s love language.

Try to learn your date’s love language – or simply how they prefer to give and show affection – so you can focus your romantic energy in the right places.

This can be especially beneficial for those who tend to overthink things in relationships. Knowing your partner’s love language helps eliminate some of that uncertainty so you can focus on sharing your love in a meaningful way.

3.      Plan a date based on your love languages

Coming up with the perfect date can be tricky, especially early on in a relationship when you’re still trying to get to know one another.

If you’re short on ideas, let your partner’s love language serve as a guide while planning your date.

For example, if your partner’s love language is acts of service, you can offer to cook them dinner or help with a DIY project they’ve been working on.

4.      Be open to exploring different love languages

Don’t let different love languages hold you back.

Two people don’t need to have the same love language to have a happy relationship – they just need to be willing to express affection in a way that’s compatible with their partner’s love language.

Speaking your partner’s love language may require some practice at first, but you’ll have a much easier time building a strong connection.